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Tip 1: Pump Yourself Up: Know what you have offer in your next relationship. Example: I am affectionate, romantic, a great cook, a good listener, giving, thoughtful, sexy, active, fun, and open to trying new things. You know what you want but do you know what you offer? Pump yourself up! Tip 2: Look In The Mirror: Before leaving your house expect to meet someone new that day that you are attracted to. If you are not getting the attention you want look in the mirror. Look how you are dressed and groomed compared to the person you are attracted to. If they take time to do their hair and makeup or wear nice outfits and shave and take care of their hair, how do you compare to them? Most singles are attracted to someone who looks similar to their lifestyle. Tip 3: Open Your Mouth: Many singles say it is hard to meet new singles. Start saying Hi to strangers and creating small talk with new people you do not know. If you are comfortable opening your mouth with strangers, then when you see a woman or man that you are attracted to, conversation will be easy. Email me here for my top 25 ice breakers here! Look Into Their Eyes... Every other Monday night, I leave my office in Bellevue and drive to Woodinville with my little sister Renee. Our destination is Special Delivery, a home where homeless mothers come to have their babies when they have no where else to go. They do not have family, friends or their spouse to support them through their pregnancy, so they go to strangers for a bed to sleep in, food to eat and encouragement in life to not give up.
I truly feel connected to these women. Their hearts are shielded from being heart broken again from family, friends and especially the lover they chose that is no longer by their side. I sometimes see this same look on women’s and men’s faces that I interview at my office in Bellevue. They are not homeless, far from it, but money can not replace the love and emptiness they feel when they have to come to a stranger for support to encourage them not to give up on love. Seattle Daters: Are you in Relationship Denial? Dear Seattle Dater: You’re in a new relationship and you want it to work more than anything in the world. But are you kidding yourself? Are you telling yourself things you want to believe—and ignoring red flags you wish weren’t there? There’s something to be said for looking for the best in any given person or situation. But when you’re trying to make important decisions that will impact the rest of your life, looking only at the best -- and overlooking the worst-- is not the wisest course of action. Seattle Dater, here are four signs that you might be in denial about your current relationship: 1. You avoid introducing your partner to your friends because you’re pretty sure you already know what they’re going to say. If you suspect you can predict your friends’ doubts and objections, there’s a good chance you’ve got the same doubts and objections but can’t admit them to yourself. Avoiding your friends may be a way to sidestep your own misgivings about the relationship. 2. When you think about your relationship, your thoughts often include the words “If only…” Are you hoping for (or even counting on) a major change in personality or circumstances in order for this relationship to really fly? Hanging on to a romantic partnership that doesn’t work—while telling yourself that it might possibly work in the future—can be an indication of denial. Are you realistic about the likelihood of those changes actually happening? Or are you counting on a change that you realize, deep inside, probably isn’t going to occur? Finding Your Passion
“The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play.” - Arnold Toynbee Following your passion can be a tough thing. But figuring out what that passion is can be even more elusive. I’m lucky — I’ve found my passion, and I’m living it. I can testify that it’s the most wonderful thing, to be able to make a living doing what you love. And so, in this little guide, I’d like to help you get started figuring out what you’d love doing. This turns out to be one of the most common problems of many Zen Habits readers — including many who recently responded to me on Twitter. This will be the thing that will get you motivated to get out of bed in the morning, to cry out, “I’m alive! I’m feeling this, baby!”. And to scare your family members or anyone who happens to be in yelling distance as you do this. This guide won’t be comprehensive, and it won’t find your passion for you. But it will help you in your journey to find it. Here’s how. 1. What are you good at? Unless you’re just starting out in life, you have some skills or talent, shown some kind of aptitude. Even if you are just starting out, you might have shown some talent when you were young, even as young as elementary school. Have you always been a good writer, speaker, drawer, organizer, builder, teacher, friend? Have you been good at ideas, connecting people, gardening, selling? Give this some thought. Take at least 30 minutes, going over this question — often we forget about things we’ve done well. Think back, as far as you can, to jobs, projects, hobbies. This could be your passion. Or you may have several things. Start a list of potential candidates. 2. What excites you? It may be something at work — a little part of your job that gets you excited. It could be something you do outside of work — a hobby, a side job, something you do as a volunteer or a parent or a spouse or a friend. It could be something you haven’t done in awhile. Again, think about this for 30 minutes, or 15 at the least. If you don’t, you’re probably shortchanging yourself. Add any answers to your list. 3. What do you read about? What have you spent hours reading about online? What magazines do you look forward to reading? What blogs do you follow? What section of the bookstore do you usually peruse? There may be many topics here — add them to the list. 4. What have you secretly dreamed of? You might have some ridiculous dream job you’ve always wanted to do — to be a novelist, an artist, a designer, an architect, a doctor, an entrepreneur, a programmer. But some fear, some self-doubt, has held you back, has led you to dismiss this idea. Maybe there are several. Add them to the list — no matter how unrealistic. 5. Learn, ask, take notes. OK, you have a list. Pick one thing from the list that excites you most. This is your first candidate. Now read up on it, talk to people who’ve been successful in the field (through their blogs, if they have them, or email). Make a list of notes of things you need to learn, need to improve on, skills you want to master, people to talk to. Study up on it, but don’t make yourself wait too long before diving into the next step. 6. Experiment, try. Here’s where the learning really takes place. If you haven’t been already, start to do the thing you’ve chosen. Maybe you already are, in which case you might be able to skip to the next step or choose a second candidate to try out. But if you haven’t been, start now — just do it. It can be in the privacy of your own home, but as quickly as possible, make it public however you can. This motivates you to improve, it gets you feedback, and your reputation will improve as you do. Pay attention to how you feel doing it — is it something you look forward to, that gets you excited, that you love to share? 7. Narrow things down. I recommend that you pick 3-5 things from your list, if it’s longer than that, and do steps 5 & 6 with them. This could take month, or perhaps you’ve already learned about and tried them all out. So now here’s what you need to ask yourself: which gets you the most excited? Which of these can produce something that people will pay for or get excited about? Which can you see yourself doing for years (even if it’s not a traditional career path)? Pick one, or two at the most, and focus on that. You’re going to do the next three steps with it: banish your fears, find the time, and make it into a career if possible. If it doesn’t work out, you can try the next thing on your list — there’s no shame in giving something a shot and failing, because it’ll teach you valuable lessons that will help you to be successful in the next attempt. 8. Banish your fears. This is the biggest obstacle for most people – self-doubt and fear of failure. You’re going to face it and banish it. First, acknowledge it rather than ignoring or denying it. Second, write it down, to externalize it. Third, feel it, and be OK with having it. Fourth, ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?” Usually it’s not catastrophic. Fifth, prepare yourself for doing it anyway, and then do it. Take small steps, as tiny as possible, and forget about what might happen — focus on what actually is happening, right now. And then celebrate your success, no matter how small. 9. Find the time. Don’t have the time to pursue this passion? Make the time, dammit! If this is a priority, you’ll make the time — rearrange your life until you have the time. This might mean waking earlier, or doing it after work or during lunch, or on weekends. It will probably mean canceling some commitments, simplifying your work routing or doing a lot of work in advance (like you’re going on a vacation). Do what it takes. 10. How to make a living doing it. This doesn’t happen overnight. You need to do something, get good at it, be passionate about it. This could take months or years, but if you’re having fun, that’s what’s most important. When you get to the point where someone would pay you for it, then you’re golden — there are many ways to make a living at that point, including doing freelance or consulting work, making information products such as ebooks, writing a blog and selling advertising. In fact, I recommend you do a blog if you’re not already — it’ll help solidify your thinking, build a reputation, find people who are interested in what you do, demonstrate your knowledge and passion. I told you this wouldn’t be easy. It’ll require a lot of reflection and soul-searching, at first, then a lot of courage and learning and experimentation, and finally a lot of commitment. But it’s all worth it — every second, every ounce of courage and effort. Because in the end, you’ll have something that will transform your life in so many ways, will give you that reason to jump out of bed, will make you happy no matter how much you make. I hope you follow this guide and find success, because I wish on you nothing less than finding your true passion. “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” - Confucius Post written by Leo Babauta Meet New Singles Like You: CLICK HERE Fashion Tips For Ladies!As I dress women around the state I meet singles that mention it is always a challenge to figure out what to wear on the first date or date nights in general. You don’t want to be too formal or casual, yet you want to be comfortable and quite honestly warm, this is Washington. In my experience most first dates tend to be pretty standard; dinner in Downtown Seattle or Bellevue followed by either a movie or a walk on the waterfront. I have also had the play, or Jazz Ally date situation. Either way I agree it can be a challenge to mix it up. Whatever the date location your impression is so important, especially on a first date because let’s face it you want to be pretty. You not only want to look great for you, you want to look great for the person. I don’t know about you but when I have no clothing, hair, or grooming issues I am really comfortable and have a greater ability to focus on the other person. I want to give you three steps to picking out your outfit so that you can be successful for the entire night. So, here they are: 3 Steps to a successful date outfit- 1. Figure out what the plan is – If you can get the scoop on what he wants to do and dress accordingly things will go smoothly, but that can sometimes be a challenge? If he picks you up and you have no idea where he is taking you because ‘it’s a surprise’ or he simply says be sure to … fill in the gap, wear comfy shoes, or bring a coat. 2. What is the weather going to be like – if it is going to rain the last thing you want to be wearing is a silk shirt with white pants and sandals, NIGHTMARE! Be cute but be practical, hair included. 3. Do I look good and feel good in this- You will want to keep in mind what colors and shapes look great on you, what works for the person that YOU are is the best outfit. 2 Spring outfit suggestions: Outfit Suggestion 1: The signature jeans are so brilliant. You can do a pair of jeans with a flounce filled shirt (which is similar to Olivia’s top on www.camiannalynn.com ) with a sweater or light coat and great wedges. Comfy, in style and chic! Outfit Suggestion 2: You may be a little dressier and a great spring dress would work perfectly for you. Simplicity is in right now and you could do a basic one color dress or a floral pattern. Pair the spring dress, with a trendy light jacket with accentuated waist and sandals or flip flops. Happy dating ladies!! Camille Turner Cami Anna Lynn Designer/ Owner/ Stylist http://www.camiannalynn.com/ Phone: 253- 335 -5423 Five reasons NOT to go on a date with HER! 1. She Acts Lonely: You'd think that going out when you're feeling all alone would be an excellent idea. I mean, how better to get over it than to spend time with a potential new boyfriend, right? Wrong. Loneliness can cloud a girl's judgment and make her do things like consider a 40-year-old virgin who still lives with his parents a viable dating option.
2. She Acts Desperate: This is what loneliness turns into if left untreated. And by "untreated," I don't mean that this is what happens when you're single for a while. Not at all. There are plenty of cheerful single women who are neither desperate nor lonely. Desperation will cause you to do things like drunk-dial the 40-year-old basement-dwelling virgin and beg him for another chance. 3. She Is Infectious: Nasal drip, hacking, and/or phlegm are not acceptable date accessories. If you're sick, stay home. Seriously. At best you'll give him your cold (not cool) and at worst, you could end up zonked out on Nyquil with some dork's hand sliding its way up your knee as you're suddenly hit with an attack of the sneezes. 4. She Is Not-Over-Him: What a jerk. Who does he think he is -- leaving you for the baby-talking twit who lives next door? What does she have that you don't? Well, for one thing, HIM. For another, her dignity. If you're still pining away for the one who got away, don't inflict yourself on a new guy. You're not going to have a good time because he's not him. He's not going to have any fun because you, my friend, are a basket-case and should be back home, boring your girlfriends with your sob stories and stuffing your face with Ben & Jerry's Chubby Hubby ice-cream. 5. She Acts Drunk: If you need more than one cocktail to get you into a date state, you should take off your fancy shoes, plop yourself back down onto the sofa, and text your regrets to the gentleman on his way to pick you up. By Good Friend: Judy Mcguire From The Seattle Weekly! Shared By Renessa Rios CEO of Three Step Dating Start Dating The Right Men & Women! Fill Out Your Free Profile HERE! Did Cupid ever tell you how to find love, where to look and who to talk to? Did you have to learn everything through trial and error or did you have a mentor show you how to attract the good men/women into your life? I sit with a lof singles day in and day out and sometimes I ask them "who taught you how to date"? I mean we go to school to learn a profession and get proper training when we start a new position at work, but who really trains us for dating and finding love? Most of us learn through trial and error and I believe that is why the divorce rate is so high... before we even get into that relationship, some of us were just reacting on emotions, not knowing if this person had the same goals or dreams or financial stability we expected in life and then we notice that the emotions have worn off and the relationship is not as fun and is not working. These days, being in a relationship isn't as high on the agenda as it used to be. More of us are independent, fulfilled and enjoying being single. And why not? Remaining single often leads to more freedom, opportunities and flexibility in your life. So while relationships have some fantastic benefits, there are also many reasons to celebrate your independence as a single person. If you're a newly single man or woman who's finding the transition a bit tough, here are our top 30 reasons to be happy that you're single. As a singleton you can: 1. Take time to find the right partner. 2. Focus on other areas of your life. 3. Enjoy more freedom and spontaneity. 4. Buy things that you really want without feeling guilty. 5. Decorate the house to your tastes and needs - games room, office or sugar-pink bedroom are all acceptable! 6. Have friends over whenever you like - and stay up as late as you like. 7. Enjoy the peace and quiet. 8. Rule the remote (and the thermostat!) Besides the meaning of life and the ingredients of hot dogs, many a man has questioned "what exactly do women want?" We're not playing coy here, we know we're complex creatures. And, true, we operate on a different wavelength than men. The best example of our gender difference comes from an article we read last year about why men cheat. The most compelling testimony was from a transgender man who'd undergone hormone therapy during his transition. Thanks to testosterone, the man noticed less of an emotional attachment to sex and more of a physical urge to engage, regardless of consequences. Fascinating. So, we're different. But, women aren't exactly the great mystery that men often make us out to be. The proof? We polled the YourTango staff and compiled a list of 10 simple things women want. Note: you won't find diamond rings or other fancy things anywhere on this list. While many women really do want luxury goods from men, when you break it down they are just physical representations of some of the points on this list. We promise. Respect Show us through your actions that you respect our opinions, careers, interests, friends, bodies and minds. You don't have to agree with all that we say or do, but try to honor our opinions as valuable contributions. Follow the golden rule and treat us as you would like to be treated: Be honest, fair, kind, and considerate. Sex Yes, we love sex. But, remember that there are four bases to cover in the bedroom, not just one. Try stopping at each base instead of being so focused on the home run-believe us, we'll thank you for it! Likewise, remember small physical touches like massages. One can never, ever, have too many shoulder rubs. And scratching our heads is pretty great, too. |
Renessa Rios
Renessa Rios educates singles about dating, love and relationship techniques. These blogs are resources Renessa finds on the internet that can enrich your dating success. Categories
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